I have come to the realization my heart is fragile. I am brash, aggressive etc. But when it comes to my heart, my heart is none of those things..it holds passion, and with passion come deep feelings and with deep feelings comes both joy and heartache and great emotion. I have tossed my heart around so much I belive it has become calloused and they are now wearing thin. I have made a conscious decision to protect my heart. I only have one and when it hurts, the tears from my heart over flow into my eyes, my chest feels so tight I might choke and it literally takes my breath away.
In reality I should change this, I should, “toughen up”. But I like my heart. I like the fact that I can love from a place deep within my soul and hold memories forever. I like that the passion which raises inside me like a beast is part of who I am. I like the fact that when I feel something, it is not on the surface, it comes from a place I now guard with pride. Your heart is truly the center of your being. When you try to change it…you are off-balance.
I want to be steady, I want to be strong and I want to have soul. But most of all…I want to feel love eternal.

I am so tired of people using religion as an excuse to be stupid! I grew up with “religion” and I have had my fill. After 47 years I’m just tired of it. Just be a good person, work hard, take care of your family and STOP JUDGING OTHERS. If those who judge spent all of those hours working on themselves, things would be a lot better all the way around for everyone. Everyone does not have to believe like you to be “right”. In fact the majority of those who preach and judge are going to be dead ass shocked when they arrive at the pearly gates to see who all is there with them!

I can’t even begin to tell you all the crap I went through growing up “in the name of religion”. When I realized what a farce most of it was I was broken-hearted. It has taken a long time for me to heal and I don’t intend to ever go back to that place. Acceptance and love are the keys to happiness. When I finally embraced those two factors my life changed forever. I hope I have instilled both in my children. I grew up believing some of the strangest most ridiculous things and I am sad I missed out on years of knowing “truth”. Don’t get me wrong, I had a great life although it be a tinted life. I was lead to believe because I was adopted I should be “honored” to be taken into such a religious family when in the end it got me no where. Very few of that family are still a part of my life. It is very sad but at the same time it is freeing in a lot of ways.

I don’t care what you’ve done, how you’ve done it etc. It’s ok. Your life will go on and you will find your own peace. I have to guard my heart, it is fragile and for years I let it be thrown around and stepped on. As an adult I have chosen to take better care of it. My love is real, it has passion and it is forever. I may not do, say or act exactly like one thinks I should. But I’m OK with that. I’m me and I like me, and in the end, that’s what matters.