When happiness implode’s your heart, the fullness overtakes you and makes the smile on your face unable to disappear. Watching my nieces and nephews and all the kids who I love so dear go to Prom and get married has been one of the greatest joys of my life. These past few weeks it has been a wave of pure joy and everyone has caught it! It makes me want to hug them so tight I may never let go and it takes our breath away. The love for them is intoxicating. Words are not big enough to explain how my heart burst’s with joy for them. The beauty, the smile, the glow of it all will simply overtake you.

In the shadow of all the bliss, a little piece of my heart breaks as this should be my Eric’s time to do all these things as well. The day will never come, and if I give it a second to take over my mind, the heart-break becomes almost unbearable. The tears flow, my body jerks as I sob with a pain so deep it tears my soul. Then I remember all I have to be thankful for and how blessed I am to have been given such a gift and I know my life is exactly as it should be. It doesn’t make the heart-break less painful, but it does make it oh so much more bearable. It’s my life…and my life is a great adventure.

The give and take in this life is what keeps us going, makes us strong and builds the love we have for one another. The love I feel comes from a place deep within. It is nourished and guarded. With the beauty of those I love comes a deep committment and passion from the depth of my soul.


2 thoughts on “HAPPENING

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  1. Love can make you hurt and make you full of joy indeed. When I was in Haiti the second time I had a very incredible moment when I saw Marie Phi La, a little girl I knew so well there the first time. She’s a child, and children in Haiti can be particularly abrasive and she’s been abandoned her whole life as an orphan so this might explain why she told me once I arrived “I don’t care if you are here” Well what she said was meant to come off as sarcastic, but some reason it felt like a dagger to the heart and then when she laughed with some of her new friends it was like the knife twisted. So I went off on my own to the ocean and kind of crashed into the sand with tears in my eyes. I didn’t stop crying for an hour. I remember talking to someone after awhile about it, tears still in my eyes. Their reply? “You love so hard with all your heart, a child that’s been through what she’s been through can’t fully appreciate that yet. It’s hard to fathom. I can hardly understand how much you love.” I had an epiphany. I was experiencing what Mother Teresa said was the distance “Loving until it hurts” and I thought of her words. “I have found the paradox, if you love until it hurts, there can be no more pain, just more love.” Marie Phi La apologized, told me she was sad I had caused her to cry. She saw how much I loved her. And since that second trip after that moment…there has only been more love.

    So I would say, keep loving until it hurts Aunt Dottie. These are the actions of a saint. You do so much for others and we all love you so much.



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