Can too many people love your child? I would think the answer is no. So why do we fight the love others have for our children, try to change the dynamic of an already not so great situation, on a constant basis? This is when attorneys and the law have to get involved and make decisions for a child. It is taken out of the parents hands, the very people who should be the only ones making decisions for this being they have brought into this world .You know why these outsiders become involved? Because it is obvious the parents don’t have the ability to make decisions based on the childs needs, what’s really best for the child. One wants this the other wants that, when right in the middle there is a child. It is no wonder there is a law firm on every corner and the court system is full! How on Earth did America come to this? When did it become okay to have children for our own happiness and satisfaction? Never thinking how down the road a child would be here, affected by the very decisions we make, our very actions.

It’s often times it is “in the best interest of the child”. But can a Judge really make this decision reading off a piece of paper and listening to attorneys who don’t even know the reality of the child, his wants, his needs and so on? The person holding the decisions of this child has more than likely not even SEEN the child! This is when the court system is a no win situation, when it involves a child. A precious child who loves all those involved!

Never in a million years did I dream I would watch as a child I love is torn and twisted, pulled and spun because his parents, my son included, can’t develop some type of communication. When did text messages become how one navigates their relationship with a child? Damn the text…it’s your CHILD! It’s never one-sided, there are two sides and sadly for the child they are both very ugly. While they both love the child, THEY want what each one thinks is best never once thinking about the next 10 years and how today IS going to be a cold hard reality one day and someone is going to have to explain THIS to the child!

It would be wise for one to look to the future before having children with someone…if only we had that luxury in life. Their would be fewer heart-broken children, fewer heart-broken grandparents and fewer parents who just should NOT parent together. I guess that’s why we have attorneys and lawyers, to make decisions when decisions can’t or won’t be made. One parent is not held in higher regard, that’s why God intended there be a mother and a father, a child needs BOTH, even if it be separate and apart. The child should not be torn, he should not have to navigate who and when to love, all’s he should know is love and love true love, all the time, from all those in his life. Those he has grown to love, those who have loved him. Love is a remarkable thing if one will just let it be.

I am very blessed to have a friend who is an attorney and guides me with distinct direction. I tend to be someone who has a hard time navigating this difficult situation. I am a fly off the handle spin on a dime person and in this situation this just won’t do. With her love and guidance I know I will make fewer mistakes in an ever so touchy situation. She has been of great comfort and of brilliant advice in adversity I find stewing in my heart and mind. It’s not about me, it’s not about what I want or think. It’s about the child I love. It’s about praying MY child makes good decisions, even when I don’t think they are good decisions, in the end, they are his decisions as it is his child. This is when I think it is so important for us to think about who we decide to parent with as it is a life long job. As your children grow you must love them and pray for them but, the guidance they need to navigate parenthood must come from THEIR own soul.


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