When I watch my middle son, he is so innocent.  He waves his hands and is captured inside of his own world.  He has not a care about this crazy outside world bustling around him.  All’s he knows is love and how to love and be loved.  He smiles when he is happy, he cries when he is sad, he laughs out loud for no reason…simply because.  As I watch this I think for a brief second what an easy life.  Then I am reminded of all he has been through, all he has missed out on.  The life I dreamed we would have has never been,  nor will it ever be.  Life passes us by and Eric continues to look at his hands and be caught up in “his world”. 

When I grieve for what could have been, I am reminded that what I do have is priceless.  I never thought I would have a child so pure.  I have been truly blessed.  Autism can be is BOOGIEBEAUTIFUL!



2 thoughts on “INNOCENT

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  1. Hey Dottie, I really enjoyed your Blog. We are all human and have those days wondering; Is this it?? You are a great writer, you should write a book.
    I was especially touched by the piece on Eric. Teaching Summer school I have the honor of spending my morning with the district’s low incidence population many of whom have Autism in every possible spot on the spectrum. We are all together during breakfast and lunch which are my favorite times because of the sounds. The laughs, deep gut sounds made by the young men who it just seems like yesterday, were preschoolers with some unusual behaviors. 🙂
    I often wonder what it is like in their world, what happens when they get home, are they safe, do they have loving families who feel like you do. I pray with all of my heart that they do cuz I see the beauty in all of them. And when they see me in the halls or in the cafeteria and I get a high 5!! That is the greatest thing for me. I get to be in that world for that moment, at their choosing.
    I love that you love teachers. We teachers appreciate you loving parents too cuz you have to live the life, every moment of every day. We all do as parents but with a special needs child, that intensifies by about a billion.
    Hang in the Dottie, you sound like you are more together than you give yourself credit for.
    Lova ya girl,


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